Kurai
by RunningWolf99
Summary: --"Kurai means 'dark,' that is why the others are afraid of her. That is why she is sitting in her room with her knees curled up to her chest, trying so desperately to remember where she came from."-- A story about a strange New Feather in Old Home.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Alright let me start by telling you **I do NOT own Haibane Renmai****, **Hell, I can barely spell it! Well, now that that's out of the way, from me, the writer, to you, my very appreciated reader, I would like to say thank you for taking the time to read this (or even just clicking on it and reading this far). This is the first fanfiction that I have ever submitted to this site, and I am really not that attached to it so feel free to leave any type of review you want. I appreciate _all_ reviews-- even flames telling me how unoriginal I am (seriously-- I already know it's hackneyed)! Also feel free to point out grammar and other structural or even plot mistakes-- I am English major and I really must stop making dumb errors!

Love Always,

Running Wolf

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Kurai means "dark," that is why the others are scared of her. That is why she is sitting in her room with her knees curled up to her chest, trying so desperately to remember where she came from.

_Now let me start from the beginning…_

Billowing blackness seems to stretch out endlessly in front of her, yet she feels very confined by it, like she is trapped. Terrified, she flails her arms around trying to grasp onto something, anything; there is _nothing_ here, just darkness. Her shaky breathing is getting heavy; she feels like she might pass out. The darkness seems to be closing in on her; she fights against it clawing at the intangible cloud that is impossibly crushing her. She is slowly slipping out of consciences, losing to the darkness; soon she is gone.

…

"Hmm, hm, hm hmm…" a young girl with messy brown hair and small, charcoal colored wings hums as she sweeps a hallway on the second floor of the abandoned school she calls home. She spies a small puddle on the floor in front of her and is puzzled for a moment before being hit by a big drop of water that quickly builds into a small stream cascading from a crack in the ceiling. One stream of water turns in to two and then four and the girl is soon soaked and baffled. The water pools onto the ground and seeps through the floor boards. Moments later she hears, "Rakkaaaaa!" a disgruntled women yells from the floor below her, "What did you do!?" The girl hurries down to the first floor to explain. She finds a very unhappy woman with long, soaking-wet, black hair and a soggy cigarette loosely hanging from her mouth waiting for her. "Wha'd ya do spill your cleaning bucket, 'cause I swear if this is mop water in my hair…"

" It wasn't me, Reki! The ceiling is leaking. There must be a hole in the roof."

"It's _not_ raining!… Uuhg… no this is much worse than a leak. We missed another cacoon…damnit!" Explains Reki clasping a hand over her face in frustration.

"But we check all the rooms everyday."

"Yeah, but not the attic. Well, we better go up there." Reki says looking annoyed.

The pair climb staircase after staircase, each new floor is wetter and wetter; until finally they reach the trap door in the ceiling of the top floor. The door swells and creeks as water pours out of it's cracks. "Okay, Rakka, open it," orders Reki.

"What? Why me? You open it, it's your job to greet New Borns!" Rakka protests.

"Uugh, fine… I have to do everything around here," Reki grumbles. She reachs up and pulls open the soggy door; a burst water dumps out with the old wooden stairs and completely drenches her, extinguishing yet another cigarette. "Well," Reki says pulling her drenched locks from in front of her face and spitting out the limp cigarette, "let's go." Rakka climbs the moist stairs and pokes her head into the attic; sure enough an unconscious girl lays sprawled out on the floor of the musty room. "Whadda' ya see?" Reki impatiently calls up to her.

"Yep, there's a newborn up here--a girl my age." Rakka pulls herself up into the attic and Reki soon follows. The girls hair is wet but it appears to be brown, it falls just above her shoulders and seems to have some wave to it. Her slender frame is long and lanky with a flat chest and square shoulders.

"She looks tall, doesn't she look tall to you?"

"I...I don't know. She's lying down. I can't tell."

"We better get'er dried off and in bed; who knows how long she's been here."

"Yeah." Rakka can't seem to stop staring at this strangely enchanting girl. An odd feeling overcomes her but she can't quite put her finger on it; there is something very different about this girl.

…

Navy blue eyes jump open and frantically scan the unfamiliar room. Realizing she has no idea where she is, the girl begins to panic and wrestle out of the bed that is not hers. She sees a door and starts towards it, but it swings open before she reaches it and in steps a women with long black hair. "Hey, whadda' ya doin' outa' bed? Aren't you exhausted, most people are you know, being born is pretty tiring."

"I'm not tired."

"Well aren't you a strange one," Reki knows she must be lying.

" Who are you? Where am I? What's go.."

"Whoa, whoa, hold your horses, just calm down. I'll explain everything as soon as you get back in bed, you need rest."

"_I'm not tired._" the new girl bites out, frustrated she's being treated like a child or a mental patient…oh, God, what if she _is_ a mental patient! "Fine." She sits back down on the bed.

" Now let's start from the beginning; tell me about your dream." Reki begins, sitting in a wooden chair next to the bed.

"What?" The girl narrows her eyes looking confused. Reki simply raises her eyebrows and waits for her to remember. "You…you mean that nightmare I had?"

"Well, I've never heard it called that, but yeah…what was it about; what do you remember?" Reki looks almost concerned now.

"It was…there was nothing…" She closes her eyes, pain and fear on her face. "It was about nothing, just…" Clearly disturbed she furrows her brow in sadness and worry and after a few tense moments finally says, "…darkness. All I remember is darkness. It was so, so dark." She curls her knees to her flat chest and opens her navy blue eyes to shyly stare at the black haired women. Reki stares back into eyes so dark they barley have a color; she is flustered for a moment, never having seen eyes like this before. She feels caught as she stares into the girls eyes that seem to get deeper and deeper every passing moment. She feels as if the girls eyes are telling her some long lost, tragic story. But before she can decipher the sad tale the door swings open again, and Reki is snapped out of her gaze. In walks the other haibane eager to meet the new feather and help her understand this world that was new and strange to them once when they were just where she was now.

…

**A/N: **Thanks for reading! All reviews are appreciated (even flames)! Sorry this chapter was so short. Depending on the feedback I get I may or may not continue this story-- so if you _would _like to read more tell me so, and give me encouragement!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks to the encouragement from my very appreciated reviewers, I am finally inspired to continue this story. Enjoy! (BTW: I know the first chapter was in present tense, I really don't know why I wrote it that way, but this one is going to be in past tense.)

* * *

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"Is it finally happening?" Reki called bursting through the door.

"What the Hell is going on!?" cried the new feather in obvious pain. She clutched at her back ripping at the cloth covering the offending ache. Her entire back felt so hot, like it was engulfed in flames.

"Don't worry this is supposed to happen, only it took you a bit longer than normal," said Reki as she gently moved the girl's quivering hands to lift up the back of her shirt and inspect the progress. At this Reki's eyes went wide and her mouth fell open.

Where there had once been the usual small reddish bumps caused by growing wings, there were now two long lumps that reached all the way down to the girl's lower back. Both were about three inches wide at the top but widened out at the bottom to be as wide as Reki's hand from finger tip to palm. She had _never_ seen anything like this before. She traced her hand along the large protrusions as she starred in disbelief.

"Ahhhahhh!" The girl's splitting cries startled Reki out of her awe. There was something very odd about this girl, very odd indeed.

_Three days earlier…_

The eyes of all the Haibane were curiously focused on the new feather, so new she didn't even _have_ feathers yet. She just sat there looking back at them feeling strangely like an animal in a zoo.

"You weren't lying up in the attic for too long I hope?" A girl with short light brown hair and kind eyes asked.

"Um, ahh…I don't remember being in an attic."

"Oh, good." A girl with blond hair and glasses replied.

"I like your hair…" a tomboyish girl with short dark hair said as she reached out to touch the new girls curly dark-brown locks that reached to her shoulders. "I'm Kana, by the way." As the girl leaned over the new girl noticed she had something grey sticking out of her back and focused on them. 'They look like wings…?'

"And I'm Reki," said the black haired women she had met first.

"I'm Rakka," said the girl with short brown hair and kind eyes.

"My name is Hikari," said the only blond of the group. "And that sleepy looking women there is Nemu." She pointed to a women with long brown hair who was yawning.

"_Yawn…_hey, I was getting to it. Yeah, I'm Nemu."

As they introduced themselves she focused on their backs. 'What the Hell? All these girls have little grey wings…'The new girl was shocked and intrigued by this. Then she noticed they all had little gold circles floating above their heads. 'Wait, am I dead or something? Are they angels?'

"Are you angels?" she asked incredulously, and they all started to laugh.

"No, no," explained Reki. "We're Haibane. That's why we have wings."

"You're a Haibane, too," said Rakka.

"I don't have wings."

"Oh, you will soon. They're going to grow." Reki said this like it was something so completely normal for a disoriented girl to hear when she woke up in a strange place. Of course the new girl just starred at her in utter disbelief.

"Well, you know our names now, so what's yours?" asked Kana before the new girl could question the concept of "growing wings."

"Umm…" She suddenly realized she had no idea who she was. Her face paled and she looked over at Reki, feeling like this strong women may be able to help somehow.

"She hasn't got a name yet. I was just asking her about her dream when you all barged in here."

"That nightmare…what's that got to do with my name?!" She sounded almost appalled at the idea.

"That's how we are all named, from the dream we have when we're in the cocoon," explained Rakka. "Like, my name means falling because I was falling in my dream."

"Well, I wasn't doing anything in my dream."

"The dreams are vague for everyone. Just take a deep breath and let the memory return." The new feather breathed in deep expanding her large lungs, showing off her wide chest and strong broad shoulders. 'Damn, this girl looks like she was built to fight or something,' thought Reki. "Alright, now, can you remember _anything_ that was in your dream?"

"There was _nothing_ there. It was scary, all I can remember was darkness," explained the new girl frowning.

"Okay, was there anything _in _the darkness?" Reki coaxed.

"No, nothing."

_"_Oh, I know, we could call you 'Kaimu' which means 'nothing,'" Suggested Kana.

"But that's kind of rude don't you think, calling her _'nothing'_?That's like saying she's worthless." Rakka defended.

"Not really…that's what her dream was about!" Kana argued turning toward Rakka.

"No, it's still rude!"

"So, what do _you_ wanna call 'er then? Got any other bright ideas?"

"Well, no but…"

"So, she'll be Kaimu. I think it's cute."

"Wait, no, I agree with Rakka we can't name her 'nothing.'" Reki chimed in.

"But what else is there, you wanna name her something scary like 'Darkness?'" Kana rebuked.

"Well, maybe not that exactly but something like 'Mayonaka' for 'midnight,'" suggested Reki. The new feather starred quietly as she watched the girls argue back and forth silently having a dispute of her own. 'But darkness _was _what that nightmare was about. Darkness was _all_ it was.'

"But she didn't know what time it was in her dream." Kana said petulantly.

"Okay, now you're just bein' a smartass." Reki accused.

"Kurai…" said the new girl suddenly as if being snapped out of trance. All eyes turned to her in surprise. "That's it…I want to be called Kurai."

"But, That means 'darkness?'" said Kana in astonishment.

"Yeah, but that's what my dream was about. All encompassing darkness." It wasn't as if she looked happy with her new name; she just looked like she had made up her mind about it.

"Are you sure?" asked Reki. Her resolve was strong as she answered,

"Yes, it's fate after all, how can I argue with it."

"Yeah, I guess it kinda is. We don't control what we dream about in the cacoons. Alright, that's that. Everybody, welcome the newest Haibane to Old Home, Kurai."

"I'm not a Haibane," Kurai said furrowing her brow.

"What? Yes, you are. You just haven't grown your wings yet."

"How can you know that for sure?"

"I just know. Trust me, they'll grow soon and you'll feel more like one of us," Reki said tenderly, placing a hand on the girls shoulder. Kurai didn't argue with her past that, but she just couldn't help but feel that she was _not_ like them.

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A/N: Sorry I write such short chapters. Hopefully I'll finish the next chapter soon. I'm more in the mood to write this story than I am my other fanfic, which is a romance while this story is about being confused, lost, lonely, and searching. Reviews will certainly help me write faster, so please let me know what you're thinking.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**_ Once again, thanks to the encouragement I've gotten, not only from the reviewers here at FanFic .net but also my friend and family, I was able to continue this story. Please enjoy and leave a review-- I'd really love to know what you think! Thank you! _

* * *

The so called "road" to town was really nothing more than a dusty path dotted with occasional gravely patches. Even so, Kurai was confident that she could easily walk the crumbled path barefoot, but Reki wouldn't let her risk it. She firmly insisted that Kurai ride with her on the back of her scooter. Kurai was hesitant to do this, however, because she was a good two inches taller than the other girl and quite a bit heavier with her athletic body.

"Are you sure you can ride it with so much weight on the back?" Kurai questioned.

"Yes, I'm sure. Now get on and stop wasting time," Reki assured her.

"What if you start to do a wheelie?

"Do you have to question _everything_? I've taken much heavier loads than you to town on the back of my bike, okay?"

"Alright," Kurai said, finally defeated. She straddled the back of the moter-scooter and wrapped her long arms around Reki's waste.

"Jeez, I wouldn't have figured you'd be such a chicken."

"Ha, yeah, maybe I've never ridden on something like this before…I can't remmember." But safety wasn't the only reason she didn't want to ride with Reki. Somehow being this close to another person made her uncomfortable. She tried to close her eyes and ignore the feeling of Reki's soft body pressed so close to her own. She tried not to think about the steady rise and fall of the other girl's breath beneath her arms. She gritted her teeth as every part of her being told her this was wrong-- it was almost unbearable how much she wanted to let go, jump off this bike and get away from this other person who she barely even knew.

Finally the bike slowed to a stop, and Kurai breathed for what felt like the first time since she had gotten on the contraption. They dismounted the bike and walked to a store-front that looked rather old, but then again everything in this whole town looked old. "Here we are, the second-hand clothing store. I find it's easier to get a sense of a Haibane when they're wearing clothes they picked out themselves." Reki said.

"Why the second-hand store? Oh, are we all poor?"

"No, except for you, but that's okay; you don't have a job yet. We get our clothes second-hand because it's tradition that the Haibane only use things that have already been used by the people of the town. That's why we live in Old Home. It use to be a school but it was abandoned, so we Haibane moved in."

"Wow, I bet you get tired of explaining this to all the new people."

"Well, not really, we don't get new arrivals that often to tell the truth."

"That makes sense. There would be more people living in Old Home if that was the case."

"Well, some of the Haibane live at a place on the other side of town called Abbandond Factory, but not very many. Okay, now let's go get you some clothes, so you don't have to wear that dull robe around anymore."

"Okay, but I don't have any money. Are you gonna pay for me?"

"The store owner usually let's New Feathers pick out an outfit for free. But if you want anything more you'll have to get a job." They entered the store and were greeted by the store clerk.

"Oh, Hi Reki, is that a new haibane? Oh sorry, my mistake, you don't have any wings," said the man, who looked to be in his mid-thirties.

"Actually she is a New Feather. She just hasn't grown her wings yet. This is Kurai." The man looked towards Kurai smiling.

"Oh, well, that's an interesting name." By "interesting" she new he meant "strange," but she tried to be polite and smile anyway.

"Um, nice to meet you, Sir."

"Yes, well, I asume you don't have a notebook yet, being so new you don't even have wings yet."

"A what?"

"Notebooks are what haibane use to buy things," Reki explained as she pulled her own little brown notebook out of her bag to show Kurai. She opened it and pointed to the numbers written on the pages. "Haibane don't earn or use cash, so instead we record the amount of credit we earn from our jobs in our notebooks and use it at a store like money."

"Okay." This town just seemed to get stranger and stranger.

"Alright, well let's find you something to wear," said the store clerk. "What are your measurements?"

"I don't know," Kurai replied .

"Well, then let's measure you." The clerk stepped out from behind the counter and approached Kurai holding out a measuring tape. This action made Kurai want to back away in defense. She had to remind herself that the man meant her no harm. But even with that in mind she still felt rather uncomfortable. As the clerk approached he realized she was unusually tall. "Well how about that, you're nearly as tall as me. I'm afraid we might only be able to find boy's clothes to fit you," he said as he measued her height, then the width of her shoulders. "Especially with these broad shoulders."

"That's okay. I like baggy clothes anyway--they're less restrictive," Kurai said, unphased by his conclusion. She had a feeling she'd never been that into fashion anyway. The man backed away from her, and she instantly felt relived that he was no longer so close. He went to the right corner of the store and pointed out a rack of clothes.

"These sizes here should fit you. I hope you can find something you like," he said and returned to his place behind the counter. Kurai went over to the indicated rack of clothing and started riffling through them. She pulled out some black cargo pants that were so baggy she doubted they would stay on her thin frame without a belt, but she liked them so she asked,

"Have you got any belts?"

"Ah, yes below the hangers in the corner over there." He pointed to some card board boxes overflowing with ropes, suspenders, and, ah, belts.

"Thanks." She set to work digging through the boxes to find something suitable to hold these old pants up. Soon she found a wide, black lether belts that had metal notches all the way up it. 'Perfect, this one can't possibly _not_ fit.' Hanging the belt on her arm with the baggy pants, she went on to find a shirt. There wasn't much of a selection in the men's clothes section, but it didn't much matter because Kurai was far from picky about what she wore. For goodness sakes she was currently prancing around in what was essentially a long white sheet, and it didn't even cross her mind to be embarrassed about it. Soon she pulled a medium size V-neck shirt from the rack and held it to her chest to see it's fit. It was black too and apparently Reki was noticing the odd trend.

"More black, huh?" she said sounding a little worried.

"Yeah, why not?"

"It's just with your name and everything…"

"I just feel like wearing black; I don't really care what anyone thinks," Kurai said quietly to the side, almost to herself, but Reki heard.

"Well, good. 'Cause with a name like "Kurai" people are gonna think you're trying to look scary or something."

"It doesn't really matter what they think because I don't belong here anyway."

"Oh, is that why you want to wear this stuff, so everyone else will think you don't belong?"

"No, you're all going to think _that_ no matter what I wear. I just like baggy, black clothes- -they're comfortable and they don't stain." Reki gave her a look like she was a confused child, it would be lying to say it didn't irk Kurai at least a little bit.

"Okay, whatever you want… but we _do_ think you belong here. I don't know why you'd think otherwise," Reki said sympathetically. "You'll see, when your wings-"

"Shoes," Kurai said suddenly. Kurai was trying to ignore how annoyed she was getting by changing the subject.

"Huh?" Reki didn't quite follow the jump in topic.

"I need shoes." If there was any piece of clothing she felt she missed at all it was definitely shoes.

"Oh, yeah, sorry we didn't have any spare sandals for you; that's what newborns usually get at first, but we really weren't expecting you."

"It's fine. I feel like I've probably walked around shoeless before, but I'd rather not if I can help it."

"Yeah, over here." They went to a stack of shelves near the middle of the store, and Kuria picked up a pair of clunky old work boots made of worn-out, black leather. Reki looked on in awe as she slipped on the ragged boots, laced them up, and took them for a test run around the isle.

"These'll work," she proclaimed. Reki was done questioning Kurai's taste in clothes and simply said,

"Okay, whatever floats you're boat. Ready to go?"

"Yep. I can leave these on right?"

'Yeah, you don't have to go barefoot anymore."

"Good."

They showed the clerk what they were getting, and he put it in a bag asking,

"Now are you _sure _this is what you want?" Kurai frowned and nodded quickly before hastily exiting, leaving Reki behind to apologize for her rudeness.

"I'm sorry. It seems she's having a little trouble adjusting to this place, especially since she hasn't grown her wings yet. She's got it in her head that she isn't meant to be here."

"Well, it is a little strange what you Haibane go through, waking up in a strange place not knowing who you are," replied the clerk.

"Yeah, I guess it's a little tough for all of us. Well, thank you for your kindness and help." She bowed politely before following after the frustrated girl. She found Kurai with the bag of clothes leaning on the back of the scooter. She appeared to be attempting to rub her back, a look of puzlement on her face. "What's wrong?" Reki inquired.

"Nothing I just have kind of an odd back ache," Kurai replied, still trying to reach the sore spot on her back.

"Ah, I bet your wings are on their way," she said with a knowing smile.

"Oh man, this is really gonna hurt, isn't it?" Kurai said scrunching up her face into a worried expression. Reki's smile faded into seriousness.

"Yeah, it is."

* * *

**A/N:**_ Yeah, I know, kind of a boring chapter, but it's necessary for the charcter and plot development! I promise the next one will be more exciting. It's taking me so long to update because I wrote some of the more exciting chapters first (that and school, my "I am" story , and the fabulous one-shot yuri I'm writing XD), but I can't post them untill I get to that part of the story! hehe : P 'Till next time, _

_Love Always,_

_RunningWolf_


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